Assholeness
by Gustock
Summary: Vauseman. Pre-Litchfield. Early stages of their relationship, purely headcanon on how the came to be and how they fell in love.
1. Chapter 1

**Assholeness.**- **An Orange is the new Black fanfiction.**

AN: I do not own anything. Let's take a second of appreciation for Jenji Kohan the producer of this AMAZING SHOW and for all of the actresses that make the magic happen. Hope you enjoy! (I know it starts kind of strong, but give it a sec.)

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"_Oh_" moaned Piper, running her fingers through Alex's hair, pushing her head down and spreading her legs wider, trying to get as closer as she could to that wonderful tongue. "_Alex."_

She could feel her grinning against her pussy and she pulled her hair a little harder than necessary.

"What?" She asked, raising her head, still wearing that smug grin on her face.

"Stop teasing. Get back down there" she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am" she answered, arching an eyebrow and lowering her head again. Slowly, se resumed licking, with little bites that drove Piper crazy. Alex knew exactly what she was doing and she was all too familiar with her girlfriend's body. She could have her writhing under her and screaming her name in minutes and she _loved it._ She loved the power she had over her and Piper was never one to deny it, beautifully giving herself to Alex, trusting her completely. And let's just say that Alex Vause, was never one to disappoint.

"More" Breathed Piper, and Alex felt her lower abdomen getting warmer with each passing second. Without stopping her ministrations with her skillful tongue, she entered Piper with two slender fingers, thrusting in and out and picking up speed. Piper moaned loudly and let out a shriek that sounded faintly like the name of the woman between her legs and began bucking her hips wildly, meeting Alex's fingers and pushing her head even further down with her right hand while with her left she roughly massaged her own breasts, pinching her nipples. She could feel herself getting closer to the edge and she let go of Alex's hair and clutched at the sheets with all of her strength, not even caring if she ripped them apart. It wouldn't be the first time anyway.

"Alex!" She screamed when she came, Alex riding her out of her orgasm by slowly reducing the speed of her fingers while her tongue rubbed her clit furiously. She then lifted herself and bent down to kiss her girlfriend, Piper moaning into her mouth at the taste of herself. Alex chuckled against her mouth and pulled away, rolling to get on her back and then threw her legs over the side of the bed.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Said Piper, getting on her knees behind Alex, pushing her hair aside and placing open-mouthed kisses on the back of her neck. She already knew this was going to be a great night.

"In case you forgot, I was reading when you pounced me in the couch. I'm going to finish the chapter." Piper could almost feel the smug grin that must have been accompanying the Alex's words.

"No, you're not" she said, slowly running her left hand's nails down Alex's back. She raised herself and bit her earlobe. "You're staying with me." Alex let out a shaky breath and whispered:

"Oh, yeah? And why would I do that, kid?"

"You'll enjoy it." She whispered hotly in her ear while her right hand snaked to her front, firmly grabbing one of her breasts with her thumb and index pinching her nipple. She felt her shiver and a small whimper escaped her mouth. Piper couldn't help but smile.

Alex was the kind of person who always had control. You couldn't help but feel small in her presence and it had nothing to do with her height. It was her manners, her deep, husky voice, the way she would look at you when she disapproved of something you did that would make you want to crawl into a hole and never get out. She had that kind of inherent power that only few possessed and she knew it. She knew perfectly well what she could do to people and _how_, how to make them do whatever it was she wanted, how to make them cave. Alex Vause didn't listen to anyone but herself.

But in bed… It was the only time when Alex would relinquish control. She couldn't help it. And Piper _loved_ having sex with Alex. She loved listening to her always composed girlfriend moan in abandon, saying things that didn't even make sense, with Piper's name mingling in between and her hands clutching desperately everything she could grab a hold of. She never lost control as much as Piper but for her it meant the world being able to do that to someone like Alex Vause.

Moving her left hand to the front as well to grab her breasts, she let her right hand slowly slide down Alex's stomach until it reached her center, where she let it hang just a few inches away.

"Do you still want to go read?" She said against her shoulder. Alex stood frozen for a second and then turned around, crushing their lips together. Piper pulled at her hair, placing her hand in Alex's nape, pulling her infinitely closer while their tongues fought for dominance, even though there was no need. They both knew who was in control now.

But just as Piper pushed her girlfriend's body onto the bed to start kissing every inch of her craving body, the phone in the bedside table- Alex's phone- began ringing. Piper stopped for less than a second and then straddled her girlfriend, leaning down and beginning to give small bites in the crook of her neck and then slowly soothing them with her tongue, purposely ignoring the sound that stopped after a few seconds. Her hands started to move down, reaching her breasts and tweaking her nipples when the phone rang again. Alex moved ever so slightly under her, as if wanting to reach for it but Piper strengthened her hold.

"No way"

"But-" She was cut off by Piper's lips, kissing her roughly, biting her lower lip and Alex couldn't hold the moan that left her mouth. God,she wanted Piper _so_ bad. Whatever it was it could wait, right?Alex grabbed her ass firmly and – the phone rang again.

They were messages now. One after the other. _Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. _

"Fuck." Alex groaned. But Piper still wouldn't let go. "Pipes."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"It's work. I have to pick up."

"It's past fucking midnight!" she said disbelieving. Her face a mixture of disappointment, hurt and anger.

"I'm aware of that, thank you. Now if you please." Her tone sharp, she gestured for Piper to move.

Piper knew Alex's job was demanding and she knew that it didn't exactly work within the normal schedules. And for all Alex knew, the person calling could be in fucking Australia. She had to pick up, Piper knew that, and Alex hated having this discussion. So when Piper didn't move, she sighed loudly and rolled so that she was on top. She pulled away, reaching for the phone and opened the text messages. Raising an eyebrow at the caller ID, Alex straightened her back and placed her feet on the ground, hiding the phone from Piper's view.

**From: Amy-bar-chick-next-mule **

**Alex I need a favor. **

**It's really important.**

**ALEX!**

**Text me back as soon as you see this.**

And just as she finished reading them, another text message came in.

**I'm at the bar we met and there are some strange men outside, please come pick me up, I'm scared. **

And another one.

**If you come… I'll make it worth your while ;)**

"Who the fuck is that?" Came an angry voice from behind her shoulder and Alex almost dropped her phone.

She had been so focused on her cellphone she hadn't noticed Piper when she had got up to look over her shoulder. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Jesus, kid, give me a fucking warning would you? You almost gave me a fucking heart attack." She said, avoiding the question and getting on her feet. Alex knew there was no point; Piper would not let it go. _Fuck_, she thought again.

"Alex, who was that?" Piper stood up as well, with the sheets wrapped around her body, her face trying to mask her anger.

Alex turned around and headed for her closet, thinking about the best way to say it. There was no way to avoid the fight that was coming, but she really had to go, she needed this girl. She needed this girl to be her mule and get the fucking package across the ocean to where her boss was waiting. She was already delayed, and Fahri was not happy. She had been distracted lately, missing on important calls, answering late to e-mails, scarce on mules. And they had noticed.

The thing is that it wasn't as easy as it used to be for her. Getting the girls to carry her packages was harder now that she could only use _words_ to persuade them. She couldn't kiss them, couldn't fuck them senseless until they screamed their agreement on anything Alex asked for them. It was the first time in… Well, forever since she had been in real, committed relationship_. _That kind of changed things for Alex. She liked Piper. A lot. More than any girl she had ever been with and after only a couple of weeks, she found herself in something more serious than she had predicted. She had realized that she didn't want this WASPy, nice, blonde girl to be fucked by anyone but herself. But worst of all she found that _she didn't_ want to be fucking anyone else but her. Boy, was she in trouble. _The_ Alex Vause, trapped in someone's net. Just the thought made her shiver.

_Okay, but would you prefer to let her walk away with some awkward looking guy, with a pudgy face and some stupid name like… Like… Larry? _

_Fuck no._

After picking up her panties and bra from the floor, she grabbed a random t-shirt, put on some pants and faced her.

"Listen Pipes, this girl, Amy something, I need her to deliver a package. If I do this, she'll owe me." She gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile and grabbed her boots, sitting on the bed to put them on before she took out her phone and typed out a quick response. **I'll be there in 20 minutes.**

"Looks like she already knows how she's going to repay you" Answered Piper sharply. Alex sighed, annoyed.

"I'm not going to fuck her. Happy?" She said sarcastically, even though she knew it would only make it worse. She couldn't help it. It wasn't that she wanted to fuck that girl. She didn't. And yes, it was because of Piper. But she didn't like being reminded of the control she had over her. She wanted it to be clear that she only had that control because Alex had decided to give it to her even though she knew it was bullshit. If she wasn't fucking other people it was because she didn't want to, not because Piper didn't want to.

"When did you meet her?"

Alex scoffed. "What?"

"When. Did. You. Meet. Her."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know, last Friday? What does that matter?"

"Last Friday. Huh. Is it the Friday you told me you were going to meet some customers and that you'd be back soon and to wait for you here, and ended up coming back at around 3 am? _That_ Friday?"

"Jesus fuck Piper, is this a fucking interrogation or what? Like I said, I _need her. _And I already apologized for that. In a very… _Satisfying way_, now didn't I?" Said Alex with a smug grin on her face which only infuriated Piper even more.

"So when you say you're going out to work, you're actually sitting in a bar, buying drinks for girls, and teasing them just like you did with me, aren't you?"

Alex groaned. "Yes, I hit on girls for a living, Piper. Is that what you want me to say? Is this your new fucked up way of avoiding the fact that you're dating a drug dealer?"

Piper glared at her and then shook her head, taking a step back from her, as if physically hurt from her girlfriend's words.

"You're such an asshole." She said, venom lacing her words.

"Okay Piper, as much as I would love to stay here and discuss with you the extents of my assholeness, I really have to go." Alex stood up and headed for the bathroom to reapply her make-up.

Piper stood there, the hurt palpable in her face and then she made a decision. She headed for the closet.

Although they were certainly not living together, Piper spent so much time in Alex's apartment that she had most of her clothes there. Well, her sexy clothes at least. Pulling out a new dress she had been saving for a special night with Alex, she dropped the sheets that covered her body and turned around, walking towards the other side of the room where she had some underwear.

"What are you doing?" Catching sight of Piper on the bathroom mirror, Alex stepped out and couldn't do anything but stare at her girlfriend, stark naked, walking around the room, and feel her mouth dry up. A new heat of arousal hit her and she cursed under her breath. _Fucking Amy._

"I'm going to get dressed. There's this new bar Polly and I wanted to check out."

"You're going out alone?"

"Well, yeah, but you know how it is. It's like the fucking wild kingdom with predators and preys." Piper laughed but Alex didn't. Of course she knew. She was one of the predators. And Piper was the perfect prey.

She was facing the wall, rummaging through her cabinet, so she missed Alex's expression chagrin, but after a second, she sighed. She knew what she was doing and Alex would not let her see she was getting to her. No fucking way.

"Okay. Go easy on the drinks though, kid. You're such a light weight that if you don't watch it I wouldn't be surprised if you woke up tomorrow in some dude's bed with no recollection of how you got there." She meant it as a joke but Piper didn't laugh. This was getting ridiculous. Alex knew that no matter how mad Piper could be, she wasn't the cheating type. _She wasn't, was she? _No, no. She was screwing with her, trying to get on her nerves. It was kinda working, though.

"Do you… want me to pick you up when I get back?" She said after a second of silence as nonchalantly as she could.

Piper bent down and started putting on some black panties that matched her bra. Alex couldn't look away even though she knew she had to go. She was late. Piper turned around and Alex composed her expression as fast as she could.

"No, thanks. I'll just go back to my apartment. I am paying for it you know? Might as well use it." She faced her and raising the dress over her head, she slide into it and Alex felt her resolve fall to pieces. She walked over to Piper, placing her hands on her hips and looking down, raking her body with her eyes. The incredibly short dress hugged her perfectly in all the right places and the cleavage left little for imagination.

"How come I'd never seen this dress before?" She said in a husky voice that made Piper shiver. Alex smirked and raised her hand, spinning her around, almost gasping when she noticed the slit that showed off her back all the way down, and barely missed her ass that was not exactly hidden either way by the tight dress.

"You cannot go out in this" Said Alex before she could stop herself.

Piper let go of her hand and turned around, heading for the bathroom.

"Not like I was asking for your permission"

"Okay Pipes, come on, it'll only take like an hour. I'll be back before you know it and then I'll rip off that dress and you won't even remember why or _how_ you were angry with me." She followed her into the bathroom and the last few words where whispered into her ear, with her hands roaming possessively over her girlfriend's body. Piper closed her eyes, trying to fight the wave of heat that hit her. She rested her head on Alex's shoulder and opened her mouth to say something when that fucking phone started ringing again.

Alex groaned loudly and stepped out of the bathroom. She grabbed her phone and answered.

"Hello?"

"_Alex where are you? I've been waiting for like more than half an hour." _The annoying voice whined into her ear. Alex sighed and said:

"You wouldn't believe the traffic right now. Some asshole crashed his car into a light post. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"_But you said 20 minutes_."

"Yeah, well I don't control the fucking traffic." Answered Alex, regretting it immediately. Fuck. She really needed this girl. Quickly, she added with her most charming voice. "But don't worry, I'll fly there if I have to" She winced at the cheesy line, but what else could she do?

"_Just so you know, I'm wearing something really really sexy right now. Maybe that'll speed up the traffic._" _Jesus_.

"Ha ha, I bet you are. See you soon." She said and without waiting for an answer, ended the call. She turned around and Piper was leaning against the bathroom door, applying red lipstick to her lips, staring coldly into her eyes.

"Are you seriously going out right now, Piper?"

"Are you?" she grabbed those killer heels Alex loved so much and put them on.

I swear I'll be back before you know it."

"I've heard that one before" she grabbed her purse.

Alex sighed. Now she really needed to go.

"See you tomorrow then?"

"I'm going out with Polly tomorrow."

"Okay, then Sunday?"

"Dinner with my parents." Alex frowned. She was not playing this game.

"Fine, then I guess I'll see you when I see you."

"Great." Piper headed for the door. Alex gritted her teeth and followed her, even more annoyed at herself for not being able to stop staring at her ass. But God, _that ass._

"Or when you fucking grow up."

Piper opened the door and turned around, her face showing no emotion but the storm in her eyes gave her away. Alex almost flinched. Maybe she had underestimated the importance of this fight. Maybe she should stop her. "Don't hold your breath." Hissed Piper and before Alex could decide what to do, Piper was slamming the door on her way out.

Alex began wondering again if Piper would have the guts to cheat on her. Maybe she wasn't the cheating type but with the fight, and the slamming, and the heels, and the assholeness…

"Fuck" She muttered, starting to feel and unwanted fear settle in her stomach.

Author's Note: Hey guys! Well this is my first fanfic, and I thought I'd get it started and see how you react and if you like it then I'll continue so... I would really appreciate it if you took a second to write a review. And critics. I wanna know every single thing you didn't like, because I really enjoyed writing this and would love to get better at it.

Love, C.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, my place or yours babe?

Piper just looked at him. At that blurry spot standing right in front of her.

They were dancing. Well, she was dancing and this guy had started grinding against her ass. She had pushed him away when he had tried to kiss her but he didn't seem to take a hint. He smelt of cologne and sweat. She couldn't focus her eyes, everything was moving. She was dizzy. She couldn't stand his smell.

"Fuck off." Was all she said before she went to get another drink. It had to be around 2 am. She had been at the bar for less than 2 hours and she was drunk. She asked for two shots and downed one in a second.

She didn't even wince at the burning sensation going down her throat. She was too focused avoiding the burning in her chest. Piper just couldn't stand the thought of Alex, _her_ Alex (_you possessive little shit)_, with some other girl, using that charming smile, teasing her, making her laugh. She could imagine it perfectly.

The girl would flirt back. Obviously. She would want more attention, more of those eyes, more of those lips. And truth was, Piper wasn't sure if Alex wouldn't give in. They had been together for a little less than two months and Piper was worried sick, because there she was, Alex Vause, gorgeous, sexy, charming, well-read, funny and smart and exactly everything you could possibly want in someone. She was interesting and exciting and mysterious and just by being with her you felt like you were living life the way it was supposed to. And then there was her, Piper Chapman, a Smith graduate, with a degree she had no idea what to make of and a perfectly shiny future ahead of her. Her life already designed for her, she knew exactly what to expect. She would find a nice, fitting man and they would buy a house with a lawn and a white picket fence and have a fancy wedding and kids, maybe one, maybe three and be the perfect wife and mom with the perfect life. That's what was in store for her. And she was perfectly content with it until she met Alex, who invited her into this whole new world she never thought she would see. This thrilling, twisted, foreign world where nothing was what it seemed but at the same time, it was painfully real, without facades to maintain or standards to abide to. And she loved this world she had been introduced to, like a kid with a shiny new object. But, when it came to the bottom of it… Piper knew that it wasn't about living the crazy, wild life. It wasn't about the endless parties, or the money, or just the status Alex possessed. It wasn't the post-college madness or for the pleasure of trying new things as she always said to Polly. She wasn't experimenting and she fucking well knew it. She had fallen in love with Alex. She had fallen in love with a drug dealer. A woman, for christ's sake. A criminal. Exactly the opposite of what was supposed to be right for her. Piper had no idea what to do, where to go from here and she was terrified of what was going to happen, so incredibly out of her depth. She was terrified of Alex running away, just slipping out of her life as fast as she had entered, disappearing and heading off for her next adventure. She was terrified of being just another fling to her. Did Alex even know what she did to her? They called each other girlfriends but, did that mean the same for Alex as it did for her? Did Alex feel something at least remotely close to what Piper felt for her?

_Stop. _She rubbed her temple, fighting the dizziness and confusion in her mind. All she could handle right now was the simple task of drinking and forgetting.

Drinking: Check.

Forgetting: Yeah, right.

_Forget about the possibility of Alex sleeping with another girl. Forget about how completely different you are. Forget about how she is probably way out of your league. Forget about how happy she makes you._

Piper groaned loudly and downed her second shot. She went back to dancing, losing herself in the crowd, in the music. She loved dancing. Her brain shut down and she had no worries, no thoughts at all, just the feeling of bodies, sweat and freedom. But the spell of the moment was broken when she felt a body disgustingly close. She turned around and there was the same guy from before, so close she could feel his breath in her mouth. She felt like throwing up.

"I said fuck off." She pushed him away.

"Hey, what's wrong girl, I thought we were getting along, you and me" He grinned and leaned closer placing his hand on her ass and Piper felt sick again but this time for a whole different reason. She pushed him away once more and retreated to the bar but when the guy followed she made a turn for the bathroom. He yelled something and laughed, a deep, throaty laugh that made her shiver and not in a good way. She couldn't hear him over the music but she started to panic and picked up speed, almost running, managing to stumble into a stall before he got to her. She locked the door with her hands shaking and leaned against the door.

When she got out, he was going to be waiting for her, she knew. She cursed under her breath and waited, crossing her fingers hoping against hope he would get bored and leave her alone. And also hoping for the dizziness to fade away, at least enough to let her walk out to get a cab. Piper let out a small whimper and sat on the floor resting her head in her knees for a second, trying desperately to pull herself together. She was alone and drunk, locked inside a bathroom stall in a bar, getting away from a creep all because of Alex. And what made her even angrier was the fact that all she wanted to do right now was call her and wait for Alex to come save her. But Piper would be damned before calling her girlfriend. Not when the whole fucking reason behind the fight had been another girl in the same position she found herself in now.

_Alex fucking Vause. That stupid, fucking, amazing, beautiful woman. With that sarcastic, annoying, gorgeous smile. _She let out a groan and after a second she knew exactly what she needed to do. _Duh._ What does a girl do when she has a fight with her amazingly asshole of a girlfriend?

Piper pulled out her cellphone to call her best friend Polly and was surprised to find several missed calls and text messages. Only one call and text belonged to Alex, the rest was all Polly. _Why the fuck is Polly calling me for at this hour? _Polly's texts were from about half an hour 's call was early, maybe about 20 minutes after she slammed that door. And her text was sent just a minute later after the call.

**From: Bae**

**Fuck you, Piper. You better not fuck some dude in a bathroom stall.**

Piper scoffed at her girlfriend's disappointingly short message. Not even an apology_. Jerk. _She thought while changing her name to something less affectionate.

"You are NOT MY BAE ANYMORE!" she yelled at the phone and was about to throw it away when she remembered Polly. She opened her conversation. There was a knock on the door.

"Hey, if you don't need the toilet then get the hell out!"

"I'm fucking busy" she yelled back. Focusing her attention back on her cell, she saw at least twenty texts from her best friend which wasn't really that unusual, since Polly was a big fan of messaging and had the annoying habit of sending text after text. But as she read, her eyes grew wider as confusion hit her.

**From: Polly**

**I just enjoyed the pleasure of a visit from your charming girlfriend.**

**And yes, by visit I mean she pounded her fists on my door until I opened.**

**And by charming I mean she sat on my couch, raising her fucking eyebrows, calling me Holly and refusing to leave until I told her the name of that bar we talked about ONCE.**

**WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE YOU ASSHOLE?**

**CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY SUPERCUNT BARGED INTO MY HOUSE AT 2 AM ASKING FOR A FUCKING BAR?**

There were a lot of more texts but Piper was interrupted when someone knocked on the door again. Well, pounded was a more accurate word. She was about to yell a "fuck off" in response when…

"Piper fucking Chapman, I swear if you're in there with some fuckhead with dangly parts I'm gonna cut them off and then kill you!" Alex Vause. Angry. Furious.

Piper scrambled to her feet, feeling like lighting had struck her and groaned when her head started spinning at the sudden movement. And then she heard a man's voice say:

"Hey, that's my girl in there, get your own."

"Oh, god" she muttered as she opened the door and stumbled outside of the bathroom stall. Apart from Alex and the creep there were two women waiting for the bathroom but they didn't move when Piper got out, probably wanting to see the fight that was without a doubt coming.

"Who the fuck are you?" said Alex, glaring at her stalker. How he managed to not shrink at Alex's fury was a mystery to Piper, because all he did was laugh and pronounce what were, she was sure, his last words:

"Who the fuck _are you?_" Alex scoffed and let out a sarcastic laugh. Before Piper could understand what was happening, let alone stop it, Alex was raising her leg and kicking him right in the balls.

"I'm her girlfriend, that's who the fuck I am." She said, stepping in front of the now fallen man, as if wanting to keep beating him. Piper managed to grab hold of her forearm, and pulled, desperately trying to avoid the fight. When Alex wouldn't budge, she stepped in between the two of them and cupped her cheeks with both of her hands, making her focus on Piper's face.

"Alex, STOP!"

Alex glared at her and then scoffed again, turning around and heading for the exit. Piper followed, leaving the man on his knees and shocked women behind.

Alex was waiting for her outside, her arms folded and her eyes cold.

"How did you get here?"

"Magic carpet." Answered Alex with a sarcastic tone.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

Alex rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "Why don't we get to what's really important here, _Pipes_. You were going to fuck that guy."

Piper remembered Amy. She scoffed. The drunkenness and jealousy taking over, she said:

"Not anymore, am I?"

She didn't even blink. Taking a step forward, she stood inches from Piper's face and with a defiant smirk on her face, she snarled: "Well go on then, if it's what you want. A quick fuck in a dirty bathroom stall, wouldn't want to keep you from _that._"

Piper took a step back, hurt. Angry Alex was bad enough. And she had only witnessed that once in the two months she had known her. But angry _jealous _Alex was a fucking bitch. She had never seen her like this. And she found herself in a dilemma right now. Because while one part of her wanted to yell "fuck you" right in her face and walk away, the other part was admittedly scared. She felt the weight if the moment. Alex was waiting for her answer and it was so fucking unfair for her to put this on her. No, she didn't get to do that. She plastered a sarcastic smile on her face and snorted derisively.

"Yeah, wouldn't you fucking know about that."

"And what that's supposed to mean?" She didn't back down.

"Well, wasn't a quick fuck in a dirty bathroom stall the way _this_ started? Although that time, your current girlfriend was waiting right outside. Should I thank you for the delicacy of leaving me at home while you were at it, Alex?"

Alex looked mildly surprised for a second, as if she didn't expect Piper to scoop so low. But she recovered quickly and soon the cold, ever-present mask was back in place, showing no emotion at all, besides sarcastic amusement.

"Oh yeah. That's totally fine. I mean, you're the one who used the cheesy line about, mmmh how was it?" she thought for a second and then snapped her fingers, mock realization on her face. "Oh right, _rules aren't any fun._ And you're the one who followed me to the bathroom and started whispering dirty things in my ear and _you are the one_ who went down on me while my sweet innocent girlfriend was waiting outside but yeah, it was all my fault."

"You're so full of bullshit, Alex. _You_ came to me first, _you_ took me home a week later, _you_ forgot to mention you had a girlfriend."

"So fucking what?! You wanted me to take you home, Piper, you were begging for it."

"Like Amy was begging for it tonight?"

At that, Alex stopped. She clenched her jaw and looked away. She didn't want to admit she hadn't gone to pick her up. She didn't want to admit that Piper had won. She didn't want to admit how scare she was when she left. It made her feel weak. But Piper misinterpreted her shame.

"You know what, Alex? That's fine, I should've fucking known. I'll send someone to get my stuff tomorrow." She turned away to go back into the bar, feeling her heart sinking lower and lower, her stomach twitching violently, the nausea returning. But a hand on her shoulder stopped her and spun her around.

"Ididn'tgo." Mumbled Alex, not looking at her.

"What?"

Alex groaned.

"I didn't go, okay? I called her a cab."

Piper couldn't believe what she had heard. "You didn't- you didn't go? What did you do then?" Now she remembered what Polly had texted her. This didn't make any sense and her spinning head didn't help at all.

Alex gritted her teeth and looked her straight in the eye. _Don't be a coward._

"I called you, you didn't answer. Looked for that stupid invitation Holly sent for her birthday party. I didn't realize it was addressed to Supercunt by the way. Cute. There wasn't a phone number so I drove to her house. Then came here." She said it as if it was nothing, as if she hadn't just change the parameters by which Piper limited their relationship, as if she hadn't just removed the huge rock oppressing her chest. She _cared._ Which made this fight even more important. Maybe if she pushed some more, she would get more answers, Alex would react. So she pushed.

"You ditched me for that girl, Alex."

"No, I didn't. It was work, Piper. Remember about that?"

"Well, you left me in the middle of the night, in the middle of SEX, because she was calling you!"

"You left first! And by the way, fuck you for that."

Piper knew that what Alex had done was huge but she still wanted more. Maybe she was being selfish, maybe she was just drunk. But she wanted more.

Alex knew what she had done was huge, too. Which was why she was not willing to take this any further. It seemed obvious to her that it should be Piper who took the next step.

For a minute, they glared at each other, neither one of them wanting to take the plunge into reconciliation. But Piper was still drunk and without Alex yelling at her, her mind slowly started to slip away from Alex's cold eyes and drift off the fight. Her eyes began roaming down her body, resting on her lips, then her breasts. Her waist. That tight shirt. Then her hips. Those jeans hugging her perfectly, fitting her like a second skin. The tension quickly changed. It didn't fade away, it transformed. Piper couldn't find a single reason in her mind for being so damn close to Alex and not touching her. She knew there was something, there, somewhere in the back of her mind. But it didn't matter anymore. Not when she was this drunk and Alex this close.

Alex found herself in the same position. Seeing her girlfriend undress her with her eyes, her anger was rapidly replaced by a sudden need to touch her, _have her._ This was just ridiculous. What were they doing standing here, arguing over things that hadn't happened? Especially when Piper was wearing that fucking dress. It was not fair. Alex then remembered where they had left off back in her apartment. It was her turn, goddammit. _Not fucking fair. _The throbbing building between her legs, it was a matter of time. Inevitable between them.

The trigger was Piper, as always. She licked her lips. Bit down.

"Jesus, fuck, kid." Alex grabbed her by the waist and slammed her against the wall. They were just outside the bar, in plain sight but she didn't care. By Piper's moan, she imagined she didn't care either.

"You never answered my question." Piper said while Alex placed open-mouthed kisses on the curve of her neck.

"What question?" she whispered hotly. It made Piper shiver. In a fucking great way.

"Why are you here, Alex?"

Alex kept kissing her, didn't falter for a second but her mind was racing, trying to decide what to do, how to answer, what to say. She knew perfectly well what she wanted to say, the words seared in her mind, the only real explanation for her actions. Denying them a hundred times a day, admitting them without even realizing it when she saw her. _Her. _Fucking Piper. With her blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes. Her way of making her heart skip a beat, like she was 17 fucking years old. She had no right to just barge into her life and change every rule. Fill every gap with her smile. It was just wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen. Alex was not supposed to fall in love. Things were fine, things were perfect before her. But now the before perfect had nothing on the actual perfect and she felt like such a moron for finding herself trapped in this cliché situation, with the typical dumbass questions she never thought she would find in her head. Would she say it back? Would she run? Was this the right moment? Were they _there_ yet? Damn it, she was _above _this. _No, no, no. Not now, not here, not you. Not you first. _Fear crept up on her like it always did and she was able to swallow those damned words that would surely be the death of her.

They stopped kissing. Piper stared at her. Her eyes scrutinizing her face, she watched as Alex's hooded eyes cleared for a second. And she saw the reluctance, the internal fight.

"You left without a fucking warning, kid. I- I just didn't- want to think about you with some dude. I panicked." Alex winced. Pathetic. Lame. Idiotic. Still better than I love you.

Piper sighed, disappointed. There was something else; she knew it, although her drunken brain was not capable of finding _what_ exactly. The moment had been filled with significance, but it was over, and she didn't feel like analyzing it now. She wanted to go home. With Alex. She wanted to sleep with Alex's warmth next to her. She would worry about this tomorrow.

"Let's go home, Al."

**AN: Hey guys! Thank you so much for your reviews and follows, I really really appreciate it! I hope you like this one. I wrote the whole thing and was a button away from publishing it when I decided it was crap and deleted it. So this is my second try, enjoy! And I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it. It was suppossed to be a one shot but couldn't finish it in one go. Now I got other ideas in mind so, we'll see I guess if I can actually think of a plot to follow here. **

**Anyway, thanks again and cheers to the beautiful awesomess of this two dumbasses.**

**Love, C.**


	3. Chapter 3

In the car, it was silent. Tense, somehow. It wasn't a long drive, maybe twenty minutes, but Alex was dreading it. A part of her was happy Piper was drunk, because that would hopefully keep her from trying to make small talk and maybe even make her forget some parts of tonight. Alex could not handle small talk right now. She was completely on edge after having been so close to absolute and utter disaster, her mind fixed on trying to sort out the situation and her best shot at that right now, was to avoid Piper. She needed to think, regroup, so she kept her gaze on the road and her face blank.

"I swear I just feel drunker by the second." Alex sighed. It was too much to ask.

"That happens when you down eight shots in an hour." Alex glanced at her and saw she was resting her head on the window, eyes closed. "You okay there, kid? You're not going to throw up in my car, are you?

Piper opened her eyes and stuck out her tongue. Alex couldn't help a smile.

"What are you, twelve?"

Piper leant forward and shoved her playfully on the arm.

"Confirmed. You are twelve."

"Alex, shh."

"Seriously though, I can pull over."

"I'm _fine."_

"I won't judge, I swear. We've all been there."

"Jesus, Alex."

"Well, except for me, because throwing up is for the weak."

"Do you ever shut up?_"_

"I'll hold your hair and everything but for the love of god, spare my car."

"_Oh my GOD ALEX."_

The corner of Alex's lips twitched and a second later, they were laughing, all remnants of tension fading away instantly while they glanced at each other, Piper shaking her head with a smile on her face and Alex with the ever-present smug grin. When the laughter died down, Piper sighed, content, and Alex felt her heart swell. Her alarms shot up. She focused her eyes back on the road. _Keep it together, Vause._ But she saw Piper staring at her from the corner of her eye. She glanced at her just as she changed position, leaning over the console with an impish grin on her face and hooded eyes and soon she heard her whispering in her ear, her words slurred.

"You know, you're at my mercy right now."

"Mmmh, kinky. And what do you mean by that if I may ask?"

Piper smiled wickedly and Alex had to suppress a shiver when she felt Piper's hand began to trace circles on the inside of her thigh. She leaned in closer and began to place open-mouthed kisses on the curve of her neck._ Those shots must really just be kicking in_, thought Alex arching one eyebrow, glancing at her with a smirk playing on her face.

But when she felt Piper's hand getting closer to her center, she almost jumped. "Okay, kid, you made your point." No answer. "_Piper._" She began to nibble her earlobe, her hand sneaking up for a second to cup one of Alex's breasts before heading back down. Closer. "Piper, you can't be serious_."_

"What?" She reached her center and began to slowly rub her through the fabric of her jeans and Alex felt her whole body tense up, holding on tightly to the steering wheel with both hands and clenching her jaw to prevent a whimper from leaving her mouth.

"Pipes, you know I'm always down for the naughty but I'm _driving_." She put all of her strength on making her voice sound normal.

"Exactly. Your hands are busy, mine are not" she backed away a few inches, staring at her face with mock confusion while her hand slipped under her jeans and began rubbing through her panties. Alex gasped. "You okay there, Al?" she fastened her pace.

Alex couldn't help a moan escape her mouth, which quickly turned into a groan. "Jesus _fucking_ Christ, Piper! You're going to make me crash the fucking car!"

And then, they reached a red light. "_Fuck."_ She muttered under her breath as Piper withdrew her hand and slipped it under her panties painfully slow.

"Can't you just wait, for like, five minutes?" she whispered huskily, her words without conviction, finally letting her eyes close.

"Can you?" she whispered back, turning Alex's head with her free hand and crashing their lips together, Alex doing everything she could to stop the moaning. Piper tasted like tequila and lemon and her kisses were sloppy, with a sort of frenzy and intensity Alex had not experienced in her yet and she wasn't sure how much of it was actually due to the alcohol and how much of it was the fight. There was a new possessiveness and sentiment behind this kiss and it all related to her own feelings too much to keep holding back but then the light turned green and cars started honking and-

"_God fucking dammit." _Alex pulled back and pressed the gas, racing through the streets while Piper picked up speed. She couldn't help the moaning now, she could feel herself closer to the edge and it was getting harder and harder to keep her eyes open. There were only a couple of blocks left to get to their street and when they finally reached it, Alex stopped right in front of her building, tires screeching and Piper was already crossing over the console, straddling her. She pulled out her hand and Alex was about to protest when Piper just unbuttoned her pants and slipped three fingers right in.

It was too much.

Rolling her hips, her hands on her girlfriend's ass, pressing her closer and closer, Alex came, screaming out Piper's name.

Breathings ragged, chests heaving, foreheads pressed together. They stayed like that for a while, letting all of the insecurities and anger from before fade away, melt with their heat, and reassuring themselves without speaking, without even trying. Alex found herself wondering again if she should say those words because damn it, she really _did_ love her and maybe there wasn't a right time and maybe she was just afraid and when in the history of the universe had she been afraid of a girl not liking her back- but she was interrupted from her epiphany when Piper muttered _fuck _and started to frantically search for the door handle.

"Piper, what the fu-" Piper threw the door wide open and stumbled out of the car, nearly falling on her face. She ran to the nearest bushes and Alex understood everything when her girlfriend's heaves reached her ears.

"Uh-oh" She muttered as she got out of the car, buttoning her pants and standing next to Piper, quickly collecting her hair in her fist. "Throwing up right after sex, aren't you a charm huh?"

"I'm-" heave. "God, I'm so-" heave. "Al, I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, don't worry kid." She said, softly patting her back. "That's what girlfriends are for, right? I mean, I don't know how I'll ever look at you the same way, but we can be friends."

"I'm so sorry, Alex." Said Piper, slowly straightening her back with her hand covering her mouth. "God, this is gross. Don't break up with me."

Alex chuckled. "I'll think about it. Are you good now?" A nod. "Okay, let's park the car and then you can take a nice hot tub." Piper gave her a weak smile since she was still mostly just embarrassed and Alex placed a kiss on her forehead before putting her arm over her shoulders and guiding her back to the car. _You're going soft, Vause, _she thought as she sighed.

Back in the car, Alex started the engine and headed for the entrance of the building. She lived in a pretty nice neighborhood and her apartment was way bigger than any place she had ever lived in before. The drug money may not be legal but man, it was good. She had her dream car, a black Ford Mustang GT with leather seats, _fucking leather seats_ and her apartment was as good as they can get. Huge, with a lot more space than she actually needed and a luxury she didn't even care for. But she had space for her books and the balcony was great and if she had the money, why the hell not? She had already taken care of her mother, of course. Brand new house _and_ car, although a lot more modest than her own. Her mother appreciated it all, but Alex knew that she wasn't really comfortable with her kid taking care of her. Habits are had to break, she supposed.

Alex loved her job. Because seriously, what's not to like? The pay was _amazing_ and she wasn't even in the top ranks._ Yet, _she reminded herself. She was climbing up the ladder pretty fast and she was sure soon she'd be sent abroad to handle international deals. Until now, she was mainly moving stuff around within the States, with a few exceptions in Europe and she couldn't wait until she was officially promoted and off to conquer the world. That's how it felt, like she had the world in the palm of her hands and it was exhilarating and yes, dangerous, but truth be told, it wouldn't even be half the fun if it didn't involve a little risk. But best of all, was the power. How people looked at her, with a mixture of fear and awe, when she revealed she was a drug dealer. How junkies practically kneeled before her, begging for her stuff. To know all she had to do was snap her fingers and twenty no-ones would come running to her, trying to win their spot in the ring by doing favors. Pathetic. Alex had no doubt, that at this moment in her life she was exactly where she was supposed to be and she wouldn't give up her life for anything in the world. She was happy. But glancing at the blonde sitting next to her, she felt what had come to be a familiar unease setting in her stomach. The international drug cartel was her life. And she was more than impatient to keep going up, but what would happen with… _No, _she stopped that train of thought. Not this again. There was no point in worrying over things that hadn't happened, right? She sighed, frustrated at herself.

"Something wrong?" asked Piper. They had finally reached Alex's spot and she parked the car, taking her time to acknowledge her words.

"No, nothing wrong." Said Alex, still distracted, not looking at Piper.

"You're not grossed out by puking girls, are you?"

At that, Alex lifted her gaze, just staring at her for a second and then chuckled.

"You're ridiculous, did you know that?"

"Glad I'm here to amuse you." She deadpanned, but her face betrayed her and a smile slipped out.

Alex got out of the car and joined Piper, who gave her a shy smile. They reached the elevator, four mirror walls, and Alex pressed the button to her floor. She hugged Piper from behind and kissed her cheek, watching their reflection. Piper smiled and rested her head back on Alex's shoulder.

"I like you, Al." she said dreamily. Alex laughed. Drunk Piper was just too cute.

"Yeah, apart from the puking, you're not too bad yourself, kid." Piper laughed as well.

"You're such an asshole." The words rang in Alex's brain. The same words she had said when they were fighting, before she slammed the door, but this time, her words were soft, and she said them with a smile. Alex was speechless and thank God, that's when the elevator reached their floor. Alex pulled out her keys and opened the door, letting Piper in first who immediately took off her dress.

"Hey, where's the fire, Pipes?"

"I'm so tired, I just want to take a shower and get into bed." She said heading for the bathroom in her underwear while jumping in one foot, removing one of her heels. Alex laughed and just let herself collapse onto the couch, sighing resigned. What had she got herself into? Resting her head on the couch, she closed her eyes and let her mind wander over tonight's events. Things had gotten out of control a bit, she had to admit. She hadn't expected Piper's reaction to be so strong. And she had probably overreacted but that didn't actually matter, not when Alex had fucking kicked a guy in the balls because she thought Piper was with him. Now, _that_ was overreacting. She scoffed thinking back to that dick's words. _"Who the fuck are you?", "That's my girl in there". _Fucking moron. Alex was surprised again with the intensity of her jealousy. It wasn't like her, to feel so jealous, because really, what was she jealous of? Every girl _and _guy in a bar wanted her. She could have anyone she wanted. But with Piper, that confidence was not as strong. Piper made her feel different, like she had something to lose, like she liked Alex, the _real Alex._ She wasn't just into her aura of confidence, her power, her arrogance. She was into _her._ And that made it her all the more vulnerable to the blonde. She fucking hated it but loved it so much at the same time. It was exhilarating. And terrifying. Alex sighed again. This was their first big fight and it had revealed so much to Alex about her feelings and their relationship but it had also _exhausted_ her.

But in the end, all of her thoughts led her to the same point. The same words running around her mind over and over. _Wasn't a quick fuck in a dirty bathroom how did started? _And then what almost made her wince, _Should I thank you for the delicacy of leaving me at home while you were at it, Alex? Yeah, that hurt, _she thought. That was the worst. What got to her the most, was how Piper had pointed out how they had started, using it as a weapon against her, like it was her fucking fault she didn't even like Sylvia anymore. Like what they had done was wrong. All born from a mistake. She had wanted to explain to her, she had tried to tell her. She wasn't a shady person, she wasn't a cheater. Everything happened so fast with Piper, that Alex found herself unable to keep away, unable to resist the inexplicable chemistry between them. At first, she was just playing. She was just working. She was doing what she did best. But then Piper had intrigued her, with her words and smiles and seemingly innocent touches. She wasn't like the others, she was different. And she just couldn't help it. She knew she shouldn't, not with Sylvie around, but damn it, Sylvie wasn't enough from a long time ago and Alex hated not doing what she wanted. And god, had she wanted to take Piper home. She had been wishing it from the first night she met her, but that was merely physical. When they met again, two days later, completely at random, they had talked, _actually_ talked, and it felt like a click, like a puzzle being finished. It felt right. And then, they had met again. Third time's the charmed, they say. And it really was. They had laughed, and touched, and talked, and kissed, and it was completely inevitable. Alex could not have helped it even if she tried. Which, alright, she didn't, but it wasn't because she was accustomed to take girls home when her girlfriend was away. It was because she had _felt_ something for her. It really wasn't fair of Piper to use it against her. And she had wanted to tell her, but Alex was not the kind of person to talk about her feelings. No, that wasn't her. She _showed_ them. She would show Piper, how much she cared, how much she wouldn't cheat on her. Alex was not stupid, she knew she had something real with Piper and she was not about to mess it up for some meaningless hook-up. _No, not with this one._

"I left you all tired, didn't I?" A whisper in her ear woke her up from her thoughts and she was smiling before she opened her eyes. She was about to speak when a yawn came out instead. She scoffed.

"Don't flatter yourself, kid, it's been a long day."

Piper was wearing an oversized shirt that belonged to Alex and her hair was already dry. She must've been out for quite a while for Piper to be ready. She always took her time in the shower. Smiling down at her, Piper took Alex's hand and pulled. Alex stood up and she took a step forward, lacing her arms around Alex's waist and her chin up on her shoulder, humming happily.

"Someone's in a cuddling mode." Said Alex, resting her cheek on Piper's head. They stayed like that for some time and then she yawned again. Man, she was tired. She pulled her head back so that Piper looked at her and when she was beginning to lean in to kiss her, Alex pulled back further and raised an eyebrow as she asked, "Did you wash your teeth?"

Piper rolled her eyes and stood on the tip of her toes as she whispered, "Shut up." Right before she kissed her. It was a soft kiss and Alex lifted her hands to place them on Piper's face, caressing her cheek with her thumb. They got lost in the kiss, holding each other, relishing in each other's presence, feeling each other's warmth. It was nice. No pressure, no anger, no hard feelings. Just them kissing after a long day. It felt familiar. It felt like home. After a while, Alex felt Piper smile.

"What?" she mumbled against her lips.

"I'm so glad you ditched Amy."

A smile crept up on Alex's face. "Yeah. Fuck Amy."

"Not you, though."

"No." She kissed her again. "Not me, Pipes. Come on, let's get you to bed."

The next morning, Alex woke up first and got up to make breakfast. Knowing her girlfriend, she'd be waking up with a massive head-ache and no intention of getting out of bed until lunch. She was making toasts when she heard a loud groan from the bedroom. Smiling, she grabbed her cell to text her girlfriend instead of yelling from the kitchen, but after she sent the text she heard the sound of Piper's cell coming from the entrance. She had, _of course,_ thrown her purse carelessly on the floor right by the door last night. Picking it up, she took out the cell and was about to go hand it to Piper when she caught the name blinking on the screen. Frowning, she opened the text. It was her name. _Jesus fucking Christ, how childish can she actually get?, _she thought while muffling her laugh with her hand, so Piper wouldn't hear her.

Going back to the kitchen, she finished making breakfast- eggs, toasts and coffee- and put it in a tray to eat in bed. When she got into the bedroom, Piper rolled on her stomach and put her chin on her hand, her hair all ruffled and Alex thought she could not look hotter.

"Mhhh, Al, you're the best." She said, as she started to sit up.

"Yeah, you know, that's what they say about Cheating-cunt-suckers. They're the best." She said nonchalantly as she placed the tray on the bedside table and laid down.

Piper whipped her head around. "Wh-what?" She visibly swallowed.

"So, is that an insult?" Alex took one pillow and put it under her head, staring at Piper whose face was an adorable beetle red.

"Wha- No."

"That I'm a cunt- sucker? At least it wasn't cock sucker, I guess." Alex shivered.

"N-no, no, of course not." Piper was still at a loss of words and Alex almost smiled. But no. Not yet, she was going to play with her a little so she kept her face blank.

"Because you know, I've never heard you complain about me being a Cunt-sucker."

"Alex-"

"Quite the opposite, actually."

"Al, listen, I was mad and…" A frustrated sigh. "Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck. You owe me an apology, Piper." She said as serious as she could gather.

"Alex, I'm really sorry. Really, really sorry. I was angry and you just sent that fucking short message and to be fair I thought you were-" She was interrupted by Alex's lips. "Hey, what-"

"Pipes, I can't do shit with I'm sorry."

Piper stared at her for a while, and slowly, a smile began to form on her face.

"You piece of shit." She fell back on the bed laughing, rolling over and ended up straddling Alex, and leaned down to kiss her fiercely.

"So how much of a Cunt-sucker am I?" she asked laughing between kisses.

"You're the worst-" Kiss. "most annoying-" Kiss. "absolutely charming Cunt-sucker in the world. And also an asshole."

"Yeah I think the last one goes without saying. But you, kid, like seriously, how childish can you be?" She asked, still laughing.

"I thought you were cheating on me, you fucking prick!"

"Oh yeah, and changing my name in your phone was _really_ going to hurt me back."

"Would you have rather that I cheated you back?"

Instead of answering, Alex pulled her in for another kiss. This one fiercer, leaving no doubt to what was coming next. Her hands starting to roam Piper's body, she went from her lips to her ear and whispered hotly, "So I guess I owe you and apology, too."

"You do. But…" Piper began placing kisses on her neck, then her breasts. "I think I'll go first." Looking up and grinning at her, Alex couldn't help to laugh again. Feeling Piper everywhere made her feel alive. _This girl is going to be the death of me,_ she thought as Piper kept heading down, spreading warmth all over her body.

_Oh, what a fun weekend this will be._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** **So yeah, I'm back. I think it's really cool to explore their relationship before all that shit happened, because after all, they had to _really_ love each other to fuck each other over so much in the present. We need more Vauseman happiness guys. Of course this won't be just fluff all along cause you know, they're them but we'll definitely see a softer side of their relationship. **

**So, I hope you're still interested! I seriously, thank you so so much for all of the reviews and follows and everything, I really appreciate the support. And I wanted to give a special thank to the user vanillaltte, for the amazingly kind review you took the time to write :)**

**Enjoy.**

**Love, C. **


	4. Chapter 4

"So you're telling me that 1. she left you in the middle of sex to pick up a _friend "_Air quotes." 2. Woke me up in the middle of the night to find you, and then 3. she kicked a dude in the balls." A nod. "And those are good things."

"Yes."

"Yes? Are you serious?"

"Well. Not the _friend_ part" Quotes from Piper this time.

"How about none of it?" Piper gave her a look and kicked her.

They were in Piper's apartment, eating take out in the couch, sitting opposite to each other with their legs splayed in front of them, feet touching. Piper had spent the last half an hour telling her best friend all about that infamous/miraculous night, a week ago from now, but Polly was not as enthusiastic with the turn of events as her friend.

"Okay, Piper, I'm going to ask you something and you are going to tell me the truth." When Piper nodded solemnly, Polly continued. "Are you serious with Supercunt? Because I distinctly remember when you gave me that whole speech about how it was just experimenting and crazy and _of course it's nothing, Pol _and I liked it that way you know." When Piper opened her mouth, frowning, she quickly added, "Not for the lesbian thing. The asshole thing."

Piper sighed. "She has her moments, you know."

"Oh yeah. It's especially cute that she keeps calling me Holly. Kinda like our thing, isn't it?"

"See? You practically besties." Piper grinned but Polly just stared at her, with that face that said _Come on,_ _spill the beans _and Piper sighed again.

"Okay, fine." She scowled. She didn't want to talk about this, not when things had been so great since their last fight. That was actually their first real fight and Piper was just glad it was over. Alex had to work most of the week but she called and the couple of times they met, it was as if it had never happened. No, scratch that. It was way fucking better. Piper realized then, that Alex had been holding back and the knowledge made her feel all fuzzy and warm, the kind of feeling where you can't stop smiling. It's not that it wasn't like that before but Piper could feel her girlfriend inching closer and closer, taking baby steps. Or more like ant steps. She knew that it would take time for Alex to open up and she had no intention to hurry her. It was beautiful for her to discover all of the shapes her girlfriend could take, all of her layers and corners and hidden places. That was Alex, and Piper loved that but that was probably the same reason why she felt… Scared. Confused. Insecure even. Alex was a very private person which made Piper feel like no matter how many layers she managed to peel off, there was always something else to discover, something else around the corner. She didn't want to tell that to Polly, because she was sure her best friend would only use it as more ammunition against her girlfriend. She was scared that Alex would never let her completely in.

And what's scary about that was that Piper felt like she already had.

"It's… complicated." She finally said, taking a huge bite off her pizza, avoiding having to elaborate. Polly stared completely unimpressed with her friend's elusiveness.

"Why is it complicated? You've been seeing each other for like two months already. You spend half of your time in her apartment. She calls you every fucking day. You smile like a fucking idiot every time you talk about her, which is half of your time. The half you're not in her apartment." Polly replied bluntly.

"She doesn't call me every day." Polly glared. "Okay, sorry. It's just that… I really _really _like her, you know?" she let her head fall back and closed her eyes trying to find the best words to describe Alex. An impossible task. "She's so funny and smart and interesting and, _god_, in bed she's just- and she's got this way of- I don't know, I've never felt like this before. She is admittedly too cocky for her own good. And that can get annoying, true, but she's so confident and I swear, she's read everything and she always has an opinion and she's-"

"You stupid bitch." Polly gasped suddenly, interrupting her.

"What?" Piper's head shot up at her friend's tone.

"You fell for her. Oh, you're so screwed. You are totally in love with her!" Polly pointed an accusatory finger at her, disbelief in her eyes, laughing but with a frown, like she couldn't understand how this could happen.

"Wha-No!" Piper started mumbling, shaking her head, trying to deny what she knew was nothing but the truth. She should've guessed Polly would see right through her, but she hadn't wanted for her to know because she herself hadn't completely admitted that she had actually fallen for Alex. Not sober at least. She wasn't ready yet to accept it, to let the realization of her stupidity hit her. Polly hated Alex and she didn't even know all about her yet. She didn't know about her job, about how she spent most of her nights flirting with other girls, she didn't know that Alex attended millions of meetings every week with who were probably the most dangerous men in New York. Maybe even the States. Who knew how big their network was? It was an _international _drug cartelafter all. Who knew what other kind of illegal businesses they possessed? Piper certainly didn't, since she had wanted to avoid all of that side of Alex's life but for how long could she avoid something as big as that? Polly wouldn't that, Polly would not doubt in ending her relationship with someone as potentially dangerous as Alex was. And she shouldn't doubt either, she shouldn't have followed her to that bathroom, she should have turned and left when Alex told her, proud, that she was a drug dealer, she should have _listened _to her fucking mind. But she didn't. She couldn't. While her mind screamed for her to run, to bolt, her body had stayed put because never in her whole life had she felt how Alex made her feel. You couldn't just _run_ from the 'Alex experience'.

"Oh my god, Piper, did you tell her? Did she say it back? Why didn't you tell me?!" Apparently, the news of her best friend being in love had overruled the fact that she hated the person she was in love with, so now Polly was wiggling in the couch, giggling like she was 11 talking about cute boys.

"No, of course I haven't told her. Alex, she's just- not like that." Piper threw her head back again, this time annoyed. The next to 0 chances of Alex actually saying _I love you_ were the last thing she wanted to talk about right now.

"Like a person with a heart you mean? That can actually feel?"

"I mean like the type that says I love you after only two months. Or ever, for that matter."

"Well that's just stupid. Why don't you tell her?"

Piper lifted her head enough to give her her best _have you gone crazy _look before throwing it back down.

"What?! Do you think she would run?" Polly meditated for a second. "Mh, yeah, you're probably right. She does look like the 'afraid of commitment' type. So, what's your next move?"

"Are we playing chess?"

"_Piper."_

Piper groaned. "I. Don't. Know" she whined, accentuating each word with a kick of her feet.

"Ouch! What's your damage, dumbass?" Polly pulled back her feet and waited for a response from Piper. When she realized she wasn't going to get any, she sighed and tried again. "Well, I meant about the girls problem. You've barely seen her this week, right?" Since her head was still resting on the arm of the couch, her face out of sight, Piper raised her hand giving her a thumbs up and then turned it around giving her a thumbs down. Her feelings about the situation. Polly couldn't help to laugh, but went straight back to business. "So, you haven't talked about that night, right?"

Piper raised her head, confused.

"That's fixed." Polly rolled her eyes.

"You sexed your way out of it. That is not fixing something."

"Well, we're good now. It doesn't matter."

"Pipe, come on. I might hate her but you love her so I'm going to give you this piece of advice: you have to talk about things. If you don't, you'll end up doing the same mistakes over and over"

"Jesus, what are you now, our couple counsellor?" Polly ignored that.

"So, you made up. But did she say she wouldn't do it again?" No answer. "And you obviously don't trust each other. I mean, if you really like her maybe you should step up. Do what real couples do. Talk. Argue. Talk some more."

Piper stayed quiet for a while, considering her words. It hadn't really occurred to her something as simple as that. Everything with Alex was just so out of the books that none of the basic relationship rules seemed to apply to her, everything with her was just _new_ to Piper. Just as new as Alex had admitted it was for her to be in a relationship. Not to mention how bad had her former relationship turned out. Sylvia would still show up sometimes. Perhaps they did need to talk. Or maybe it would just be awkward and weird and leading no where. Or maybe she was just a coward.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone started ringing. Checking the called ID, she grinned instantly.

"Go ahead. I'm going to do the dishes. Not interested in seeing that stupid face you have when you talk to her."

Piper stuck out her tongue and Polly mirrored her, getting up and leaving the room just as she pressed the green button and put the phone against her ear.

"Hey."

"Hey kid. What are you up to?" She rested her head back in the arm of the couch and closed her eyes, 100% focused on her girlfriend's luring voice.

"Nothing, just pizza with Polly. What about you?"

"I'm just heading home after the world's longest meeting." She groaned and Piper laughed. They were silent for a second and Piper frowned. She was about to say something to escape the sudden awkward silence when Alex spoke up, with a tone Piper had never heard in her voice.

"So, uhm, what are you doing tomorrow?" Nervous. Alex was nervous. Why would she be nervous about tomorrow? Suddenly, it hit her. She pulled the phone away and checked the date. She almost gasps. _Holy fuck. Does she actually remember that?_

"I have a thing with some friends." She lied, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Oh." Alex sounded like she wanted to say something more, but when she didn't, Piper smiled and continued.

"Nothing I can't get out of, though. But you're going to have to convince me."

Alex chuckled, and in a second her voice was back to normal: seductive, confident.

"Oh, I think I'm better at that in person. I can assure you, you won't regret it." Her husky voice sent shivers up her spine and she was about to suggest they met right now, forgetting about Polly and they're girls night. She needed to see Alex. But then again, Alex seemed to have something else in mind. "So, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"What's the occasion?" she asked, just to mess with her.

Alex gasped dramatically. "You need something else besides seeing your girlfriend?"

"I meant, what should I dress for?"

"Casual. No heels."

Piper frowned. "Okay… What time?"

"Eleven."

"Eleven? That's kinda late for dinner, don't you think?"

"Well, it's alright for breakfast."

"What?!" Piper said perhaps a little too loud. Eleven AM? On a Saturday? What was Alex thinking?

"Be ready." She said with a mocking voice and hang up.

* * *

><p>At eleven o'clock the next day, Piper was standing in front of Alex's car, with her bag slung across her chest, carrying a change of clothes like Alex had requested in her text message half an hour after their conversation. She leaned over the console and opened the door to Piper's side, smiling widely.<p>

"Hey there. I gather from your clearly-not-brushed hair and annoyed grimace that you _were_ sleeping when I called." She said, wiggling her eyebrows and then with a smug smirk. "I knew you'd sleep through your alarm."

"Wipe that smile off your face or I'll just ditch you and go back to sleep. Like people are supposed to be doing at eleven am on a fucking Saturday." Growled Piper, getting into the car. She must have slept roughly four hours, talking to Polly and watching movies and when the alarm had went off this morning, she had shut it off and thrown her phone away which made it impossible for her to reach it without getting up when Alex called, at ten thirty, reminding her that she would be picking her up in half an hour. And after four cups of coffee and a rushed shower, here she was.

Alex let out a loud, throaty laugh. "Mmmh, so passive-aggressive. I like that in a woman." She winked and started the car. Piper leant her head against her seat with her eyes closed.

"So, are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Where's the fun in that?" she said, rummaging under her seat.

"What are you doing?" Piper opened her eyes and stared as Alex grabbed a white bag with a familiar logo plastered on it. "A donut? You brought me a donut?"

"You're welcome, kid."

Piper ate it greedily, having skipped breakfast, and when she was done, she felt much more composed. She kissed Alex's cheek and smiled shyly, mumbling a soft 'thanks' and settling back in her seat. They were in a highway and Piper didn't care anymore where they were going. She rested her head back in her seat again and relaxed. With the sun shining through the car's windshield, soon it became hot and she rolled down her window, relishing in the air in her face.

"Hey, hey, my hair!" Alex suddenly yelled, breaking her relaxed bubble. She snapped her head back at Alex, whose hair was flying crazily, a hand uselessly trying to keep it in one piece, while at the same time trying to keep it away from her eyes.

Piper burst out laughing.

"It's not funny, roll it up!" Piper didn't move. "Piper!"

Still shaking with laughter, she rolled the window up and looked back at Alex, whose face was a lovely shade of pink and who was running her fingers through her hair, trying to brush it, until she gave up and just shoved her glasses up, gathering all of her hair messily behind the black frames.

"Not cool, Piper, not cool." At which Piper burst out laughing again. Alex couldn't hide a smile beginning to creep on her face. "Your hair was already a mess; there was no need to mess up mine too. And this is _not_ safe." She said, gesturing to her squinted eyes.

Piper shoved her playfully and that's when she spotted a sign up in the road and her eyes grew wide.

"We're going to the beach? Are we going to the beach, Al? Oh, I love the beach!" She was practically jumping in her seat, pointing at the sign until they passed it, and then she was grinning at Alex, who sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes although there was a wide grin plastered on her face. Alex glanced at her and they locked eyes for a second. She looked back ahead with the corners of her lips twitching, as she tried to hide her smile.

"Maybe."

* * *

><p>When the sky turned red, when the waves grew, forcing them to retreat, and when the sand got cold under their feet, they laid down. With their bare legs tangled, arms wrapped around each other, bodies pleasantly tired and minds comfortably empty of any conversation topic, they let the sound of the crashing waves surround them as people began to leave, done for the day. They knew they weren't done yet.<p>

After a while, Alex wanted to go have a drink, but Piper forced her to watch the sunset, curled up together in the blanket, with her complaining the whole time about how corny it was. Piper ignored her and held her tighter. The air was colder. She shivered and Alex took her sweatshirt that had been lying around on the sand, discarded since the minute their feet touched the sand, and placed it over Piper's shoulders, who looked up into her eyes, hers as big and amazed as they always were when she looked at Alex, that look Alex was so accustomed to. All of the girls looked at her that way. Huge, wondrous eyes. Admiring her, wanting her, wanting _to be_ her. But it felt different coming from Piper. She didn't want to trick her. Not this one. Alex wasn't stupid. She knew when she stumbled upon something good. And Piper was _good. _

"Hey Al?"

"Mh?"

"I had a great time."

A smile. A soft kiss.

"Me too, Pipes."

"Oh and Alex?"

"Yes?"

"You're such a hypocrite."

"What?"

"Calling me corny when you brought me to the beach for a dreamy day to celebrate our two months. That's so 16."

"… I don't know what you're talking about."

Piper laughed and folded her arms behind her head, glancing at Alex who was propped up in one elbow, looking at the ocean with the ghost of a smile on her face, that was already mainly hidden by the night. She remembered her conversation with Polly last night. And she went for it.

"Do you think we should talk about it?"

Alex tilted her head to look at her and arched an eyebrow.

"About how corny I am definitely not?"

"No- About… about last Friday?"

"Oh." She pursed her lips and looked away. "Do _you_ think we should talk about it?"

"I don't know."

Alex didn't respond. Piper cleared her throat and raised herself on her elbows to face her.

"But it's going to keep happening, isn't it?"

Alex didn't hesitate. "Yes."

Piper was the one to look away this time.

"Look, that's my job. You knew from the beginning wha-"

"Yeah, I don't need the lecture, thanks." Snapped Piper.

Alex gritted her teeth. "What do you want, Piper? I can't decide when those chicks are going to call me. You're just gonna have to deal with it."

Piper let out a sarcastic laugh. "Oh yeah, cause you're one to fucking talk. Am I allowed to deal with it like you? Punching every girl that wants to fuck you?"

"That's diff-"

"How? How is it different, Alex?" She began to pull away, in an attempt to get as far away as possible. If she kept talking this mad, something might slip. "You're such a fuckin-" Alex's lips interrupted her, one of her hands on the nape of her neck, pushing her infinitely closer and the other one in her thigh. It was a furious kiss, sloppy, messy, both of them fighting for dominance. It was settled when in one swift move; Alex pushed her back down and straddled her. Piper gasped and grabbed her hips, then her ass, her hands not being able to settle anywhere for more than a few seconds, wanting her all. Alex began rolling her hips, driving her crazy because it was too much, it was _too much_. They were both moaning now. She was leaving a wet trail of hot kisses down her jawline, her neck and then back up until she reached her earlobe.

"I'm gonna need you to trust me, Piper. And when you need to, I can always think of _something-"_she whispered as she slipped a hand under her panties." To reassure you."

And like that, like only Alex knew, with touches and kisses, faint moans and muffled cries, Piper let herself be conviced that what was to come wasn't important. Not as long as Alex was there.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey :) Again, I cannot thank you enough for the time you take to write reviews, and you can't imagine how encouraging they are unless you write too! Even if it's just a 'good job' or whatever, you're great. So, enjoy and I hope you like this one! We're nearing the end, one, maybe two more chapters.

Thank you for the support.

Love, C


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